Mediation

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The mediation process is managed by a mediator, who must function as an impartial, neutral third party.  Both parties are the clients of the mediator.  The goal is a settlement that is satisfactory to both people.

What does the divorce mediator do? During the mediation process, the mediator will assist the parties to exam the issues; communicate the facts, needs and desires; encourage each side to really understand the other's sides needs and position; and stimulate the development of options and solutions. It is important that both parties treat each other with respect and focus on future needs, rather than focusing on past misdeeds and finding fault.

The mediator cannot give legal advice to the parties, even if the mediator is an attorney.  Parties in a mediation are encouraged to seek legal advice, if for nothing else than to review the final agreement.

Who makes the decisions?  The mediator will not make your decisions for you --that is what arbitrators and judges are for. The mediator will help you to reach your own agreements, which in the long run should be more workable and satisfactory than those imposed by a third party.  You are more likely to implement an agreement that you helped forge than one that was crafted by someone else.

Mediation is voluntary.  Mediation cannot work if one or both parties have been forced to attend.  Either party is free to leave the mediation at any time.

Mediation is confidential.  The mediator is bound to keep confidential all communications related to the mediation and cannot be used as a witness if the matter goes to court.  Similarly, the parties are bound by confidentiality and are not allowed to use any information discovered during the process of the mediation in court.

Parties may have advisors to help them in the mediation.  Advisors can include attorneys, financial analysts, parenting professionals, therapists, etc.  With the exception of the attorneys, who may only act for one party, the advisors may be jointly appointed, or advise only one of the parties. 

For the mediation to be binding, the agreements must be reduced to writing that both parties sign.  The mediator may draw up the agreement, or this may be done by an attorney representing one of the parties.

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